Apr

Bullying – is this the answer?

This week I have read about two cases in the United States that a young person who had been subjected to bullying committed suicide. One was in Massachusetts, Phoebe Prince and the other was Jon Carmichael in Texas. As I have followed the stories and read the comments of others they have ranged from “it is such a shame and waste of life”, to “he/she had their whole life ahead of them”. Then there was the following comment that is repeated many times also:

“Bullies only speak one language.They are ALWAYS cowards.If you take a stand and leave a couple in a bloody heap,all of a sudden the bullies disappear.I am not a bully and neither are you.I was a big kid,and easy going as well and bullies used to misread this as weakness and then all of a suddern a freight train ran them over……….it was me deciding enough is enough.THEY KNOW ONE LANGUAGE……PICK ON SOMBODY WHO IS SMALLER,WHO IS MEEK,WHO ISN’T AS STRONG ,ETC.Bad character is ALWAYS a bad judge of character.Being polite and not using your size and strength to intimidate IS NOT weakness.Bullies are cured with one,sometimes two treatments.The really stubborn ones need three.They have an entitled and exhaggerated opinion of themselves and they are a HOUSE OF CARDS EVERY TIME.MAKE THEM EAT SOME LAWN GRASS AND A LITTLE GRAVEL TOO.THEY BECOME MAGICALLY POLITE AND RESPECTFUL.”

While this may have worked for this individual, for himself, I can assure him that the persons who were bullying him, “whom he cured with treatments”, simply moved on to a better target. They did not stop bullying others and in fact most likely became more intense with their next victim.

So what is the answer? There are no quick fixes. There is not any sort of magic fairy dust that can be sprinkled on them that changes them. All of us are involved in training ourselves and our children in the art of empathy, respect, anger management, manners and a host of other civilized conduct. It is a way of thinking and feeling. It is not weak but rather the use of simple tools that we can develop and train.

Everyone of our children deserve to see these qualities modeled by their parents, teachers and role models. They all deserve to be given the tools, words and emotional strength to feel good about themselves and be strong and yet respectful of others.

This is the self defense that I feel is important to teach our children to use on a daily basis. The more I study this subject, the more I talk about this with parents and students, the more aware I become of my own self. I encourage everyone of us to look at the subject of anger and the results. Discuss it with others and practice calming ourselves down. Follow my blog at Balanced Life Skills for more information about anger management, teen suicide and bullying in the coming months. Awareness will make a difference in each of us.