Now that I have finished posting the Frequently Asked Questions section I ams ging to start on talking about what we can do to help our young persons who seem to be angry or distressed. Of course our goal is to find out what happened or what were the events that led to the child feeling the way that they do. Not easily done, especially when they are in that tween / teens age group.
So our first goal is to create an alliance with the student so we can have a collaborative or mentoring relationship with the child. It is always better when the student does not feel as if they are forced to talk or that they are giving up too much of themselves. if it appears to be their idea it is always better.
Our goal will be to acknowledge, affirm and validate their feelings that are appropriate under the circumstances. Then we can help them de-escalate their intense feelings, before we can engage them with problem solving and understanding what took place.
Ask good non threatening questions:
Your actions (how you look) are telling me that something is bothering you. Do you wnat to talk about it?
I hear you are really angry. I’m here to understand what happened and see if I can be of help.
I know it is difficult to talk about what happened, but I need to hear what happened from your viewpoint.
It sounds like something upset you; can we talk about it?
You see the idea about the questions. Let them know that your interest is helping but first understanding their view point and position. At the same time we may need to give the individual some time to gather their thoughts and courage to express themselves.
Tags: parental advice
