If you are the victim of bullying and harassment, try not to show that it bothers you. There is an oriental philosophy called Mushin. Mushin means to stay cool. Don’t let your feelings show. If the bullies think you don’t care what they do, they may move on to another target.
One way of accomplishing this is to think about what it is that you may represent or stand for. Let’s say you are on the football team and you get a reputation for being mean and short tempered. Others may think that everyone on the team is like that. I remember my parents telling me that I represented the family and the family name. So if I was to mess up in some way it brought dishonor on our family. You may have something else that you represent.
For me today, I am a martial artist, black belt. I stand for all that represents. I do not want anyone to think badly of martial artist and more important I would like everyone to have deep respect for the martial arts based on what they know about martial artist. I must keep my cool!
You could also bring the problem to the attention of the school administrators. Maybe they could move your locker or switch your schedule so you don’t have to see the bullies as often during the day. Just remember that high school does not last forever (although it may feel like it at times). Soon you will be in college or working and will have plenty of opportunities to meet people with the same interests as you. After high school, people are generally more accepting of others—or at least more willing to choose their friends based on less shallow criteria.
Tips on How to Deal With Bullies
- Don’t be an easy target.—Your body language tells a bully whether you are vulnerable or not. When you stand up straight, talk in a loud, clear voice, and make eye contact with the bully, you show him or her that you are not vulnerable.
- Avoid isolated places.—Bullies are more likely to cause trouble if you are alone in a place where no one can see or hear you.
- Watch for trouble.—At the first sign of bullying, try to deflect it with humor or by changing the subject.
- Find a close group of friends.—The saying that there is safety in numbers is true. If you and your friends stick together and protect each other, bullies are less likely to view you as a target.
This summer Balanced Life Skills will be offering a Bully Prevention program call Verbal Judo. It is the same information that is taught to police officers so they can keep themselves and others under control in a kind and mannerly way, but taught just for those who want to avoid being bullied.
Tags: "high school bullies", bullies, mushin, verbal judo
