Here is an article about bullying that makes some good points – but then some that are very old school and not what I would teach our children.
Bet you didn’t know there was such a thing as the New Jersey Commission on Bullying in Schools. Well, there is. And it just issued its report. The title is “There Isn’t a Moment to Lose.”
As George Will might say: Well.
At the risk of insulting a lot of well-intentioned people trying to address what I do not deny is a problem, I have to tell you: The very existence of the commission is part of the problem.
I know … bullying can cause all kinds of issues for the bullied. Serious issues.
But here’s my problem: Bullying is not new. It became a problem at the very moment there was more than one human being on this Earth. It is not confined to the young or to schools. It exists in all cultures, all settings. In schools, yes. And in workplaces, in corporate suites, on street corners, in playgrounds and gyms and … well, anywhere there are people.
Today’s problem with bullying, in this blogger’s humble opinion, is that we’ve raised a generation of children who are shocked to learn that:
1. Life is hard.
2. People are cruel.
Sure schools and workplaces should have systems in place to deal with bullying. That’s the modern way.
But the real way to deal with bullies hasn’t changed in eons:
You do it one on one, face to face, with your shoulders squared and your eyes glaring into the bully’s eyes.
And — I’m gonna say it, brace yourself — maybe with a punch.
In other words, what children need to know is that when they are being bullied, there is only one way out of it. You have to do it yourself. No one can really help. And when you’ve done it, when you’ve faced down a tormentor, you change. You change in a way that makes it a whole lot less likely that you will ever be bullied again. You know it inside. And others know it by looking at you.
It’s called character, and it’s what life is about. You face down what scares you, or it scares you forever in ways that no school counseling team will ever help.
My comment on this that I was not able to do on the website that I read this editorial on is this. There are 3 ways of dealing with bullies. Passively, aggressively, and assertively. I will comment on them all very soon but on this article I would like to say that only one of these should be acceptable in a society that is civilized. We should always stand up for ourselves and this calls for being assertive. There are almost no times that require us to be aggressive and never should we react passively. There is so much involved in this – but when we have the attitude or belief that it is OK to PUNCH someone because they have treated us poorly we stand no chance of creating a peaceful world for ourselves or others.
Tags: bullies
