FAQ’s

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the different types of bullying?

How do the characteristics of bullying differ for boys versus girls?

What are the consequences for children who bully?

What are the consequences for children who are victims of bullying?

What are the characteristics of children who bully?

Who are the victims of bullying?

What can be done to reduce bullying in my school?

What is bullying?

Bullying is a relationship problem in which power and aggression are used to cause distress to a vulnerable person. Bullying can be either physical or verbal actions that are negative and are intended to be hostile, and cause distress to the victim. Most of the time it is a repeated action over time and involves a differential in the in the power between the child who bullies and the one who becomes the victim. Bullying is not the usual type of conflicts that occur between children. Bullies prey on those who either cannot or will not defend themselves. Sometimes it may give them a sense of power and importance that are not as easily attained in pro-social behaviors. Bullying can occur almost anywhere in school including hallways, bathrooms, gyms, playgrounds, cafeterias, school bus or in any are that is less supervised. Having said that it can also occur in the community either to or from school, at the mall, or on the internet. Unfortunately it may also occur at home among siblings, and may be a learned behavior from parents. There are two schools of thought, both of which have some merit when considered in a proper context. One says that we must intervene as a school, parent, fellow student. I will discuss later how this can be done without it further damaging the ‘victim’, and another school of thought that gives all the power to the ‘victim’ and requires them to work on themselves. I believe that as in most cases there is work that should be done on the part of all and this will be discussed as we lay out how to STOP BULLIES!

What are the different types of bullying?

Bullying can take on many forms. It can be direct, indirect, physical, verbal, psychological or electronic.

Direct (Face to Face)

Verbal bullying – name calling, mocking, hurtful teasing, insults, put downs, humiliating, racist or sexist comments, harassment.
Physical bulling – shoves, pushes, hitting, beating up, stealing or damaging property, assault.
Psychological bullying – giving dirty looks, uttering threats, forms of intimidation, extortion.

Indirect (Behind Someones Back)

Gossiping – lowering people’s opinions about the student who is the target as a victim
Social aggression – telling people not to be friends with a student who is targeted as a victim, spreading rumors, damaging friendships.
Leaving out – shunning, exclusion

Cyber bullying

The use of electronic technology as a means of bullying and harassing may involve:

sending threatening or harassing emails or text messages
creating a website that belittles or ridicules another student
taking unflattering or inappropriate pictures of other studnets without their permission and sharing them with others or posting them on an internet site
stealing someones password and sending mean messages to others
tricking someone into sharing sensitive personal information while text messaging and then forwarding that information to others
using cell phones to send derogatory, threatening, or harassing text messages

The physical aggression declines with age, the verbal and indirect forms of bullying increase with age. So when the children are young bullying is not related so much to negative peer status, but by the third grade they are rated that way. Then in later years we see the children who bully, some are consistently aggressive and less skilled while others are highly skilled and even popular within their peer groups.

How do the characteristics of bullying differ for boys versus girls?

There are differences in the ways boys and girls bully one another. While boys are generally more aggressive, girls many time do not view relational forms of aggression such as exclusionary behaviors, as forms of bullying. Having said that though here are a few of the differences.

Male student are more likely to be in physical fights, though we are seeing an increase in the numbers of females engaging in physical fights.
Male students are more likely to be physically bullied
Female students are more likely to be verbally or psychologically bullied.
Females students more often use – gossiping, exclusion, manipulating others to exclude
Males are more often to – yell, use assertions of status and dominance
Both male and female student who bully are at a risk for a variety of adjustment problems
The rate of bullying is about the same between girls and boys. Interestingly though girls are just as likely to fight with a boy as they are with other girls.
Females report significantly greater rates of victimization and abuse plus a greater likelihood of problems with depression, low self esteem, and re-victimization than boys are.

How widespread is bullying?

How bullying is assessed influences the answer to this question. But it can easily be said that it is prevalent in both middle and high schools with an increase even in the elementary schools. This is not just a problem in schools in the US. These are issues that are global and interestingly enough the percentages are always about the same.

27% of middle schools students are involved in bullying
60% of American teenagers say that they witness bullying at least once per day
Approximately 19% admit to being the bully
Bullying tends to peak in middle school and especially in the first year
In elementary schools a bullying incident takes place once every 7 minutes
33% of high school students report they have been in physical fights on school grounds
163,000 students stay home each day because of fear of being bullied in American schools
Most children engage in some form of bullying during their school years.

Assessing the bullying issues are very complicated, as both parents and teachers many times are unaware of the episodes taking place. Many times children are unwilling to speak to their parents about the issues, parents do not initiate the conversation, the encounters are brief and verbal and ignored by the student. Moreover, some parents of children who bully may be inadvertently supporting this form of behavior, especially by modeling the use of power and aggression to resolve conflicts, or not intervening at home with appropriate consequences for bullying that may take place between siblings.

What are the consequences for children who bully?

The consequences of bullying is interestingly enough very similar for both the bully and the victims. Depending on the frequency, duration, pervasiveness, and severity of the bullying, both bully and victim may evidence problems emotionally, behaviorally, and socially. The consequences may be lifelong for the bully, as they may fall into a pattern of using aggression to assert power over others. This can easily lead to delinquent behavior and include substance abuse at a higher rate compared to others. Those who bully are far more likely to smoke, drink, fight, vandalize, commit crimes as young adults, and engage in sexual harassment in both adolescent relationships, and later engage in spousal abuse. These issues in all likelihood will carry forward into parenting and the children of these former bullies are at risk of becoming bullies themselves and so the habits of behavior continue on into the next generation.

Bully/Victim

We should also note here that those who are both bullies and victims are at a greater risk including experiencing higher levels of depression and anxiety. This group of both bully and victim have been linked to issues with ADHD, academic problems (especially reading), and may have poor peer interactions and unfortunately not particularly liked by teachers. This group may especially need mental health services.

What are the consequences for children who are victims of bullying?

Children who are victims of bullying by their peers many times will complain of headaches, stomachaches or have other physical distress including loss of sleep, feeling stressed out, or poor school performance. They may also engage in avoidance behavior by not wanting to go to school, refusing to attend certain events, or even running away. Victims may even have greater difficulty making friends and are lonelier. In the long term victims of bullying may result in low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal behavior. There is also the possibility that a victim may begin to engage in aggressive behavior also. While most school bullying does not lead to extreme aggression we should note that a very high percentage of those who have engaged in school shooting were often victims of bullies or at least were motivated by a desire to get even because of feeling harassed by others, including students and sometimes teachers.

What are the characteristics of children who bully?

Some are very popular students who are very skilled at and tend to engage in aggressive behaviors when there is a threat to their “ego”. Others are students who lack social skills, and are often impulsive and easily angered. They may be more defiant with adults including teachers and parents. They may be easily frustrated and may have difficulty following rules. Many times those who bully at school are being bullied at home. They may be exposed to aggressive parenting styles, and most of the time have sibling. Here are some signs that a child may be involved in bullying behaviors:

Teases, threatens physically hurts other children
Acquires new toys or objects without explanation
Seems to have a lot of extra money
Talks on the phone or internet about others’ shortcomings
Brags about power over another student
Is aggressive with siblings or parents
Has a short fuse, is impulsive, has a hard time following rules
Has been involved with vandalism or stealing
Shows no sympathy toward other children

Who are the victims of bullying?

Victims of peer harassment or bullying may be perceived as different, exceptional, marginalized from fellow students, or they may behave in a manner that seem to elicit negative peer reactions. Consider the following:

Victims tend to be cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn, shy, anxious, insecure, unhappy, have low self esteem
Some may cry easily, appear fearful, have few friends
Some are set apart due to physical differences, learning disabilities, race, religion, ethnic or sexual orientation. They may be smaller or weaker.
Often they relate to adults better than other kids and may not have a good friend. They may not have the skills to make good friends.
Victims have many times the “overprotective parents or school personnel. There fore they never develop their own coping skills.

What can be done to reduce bullying in my school?

Increase the commitment and leadership of the principal to reduce school violence, bully-
ing and harassment. Without the principal’s investment and leadership, it is unlikely that any
school intervention will work and be sustained.
Conduct a Needs Assessment Schools differ and no one program will fit all. It is critical to
conduct a Needs Assessment and ongoing assessment for bullying.
Improve the schools climate and sense of school belongingness for all students. First as-
sess your schools Climate and discover ways to improve it an d the student connectedness.
Increase teachers awareness, commitment and ability to intervene as well as integrate any
intervention program into the curriculum and school routines. Train all school personnel
on ways to identify and intervene in bullying episodes, defuse angry students, promote posi-
tive relationships and improve classroom management techniques.
Implement and evaluate school-wide intervention programs that are evidence based. Im-
plement proven programs, anticipate possible barriers, and have a game plan to address obstacles
Establish a follow up intervention with high risk students who do not improve with the
school wide and classroom based interventions. Some students will require further interven-
tions. There may be a need for special programs for high risk students.
Efforts to bully proof schools needs to include bystander intervention programs that nur-
ture student leadership and involvement. The students participation is critical in the form of
bystander intervention programs, peer warning or peer mediation programs.
Involve parents from the outset and provide ongoing training and feedback. A school-
parent partnership is the ‘glue’ that makes bullying programs work and improves academic
performance.
Improve school safety by addressing the presence of gangs. Systematically assess for the
presence of gang influence on your school campus.
Develop school community partnerships that are designed to reduce school violence and
bullying / harassment. “It takes a village to raise a child” and this is most important when
dealing with this issue. The wider school community or newspaper reporters or other groups
in the community can join with the schools to reduce bullying.